Sarcasm

You know the kind, muttered on a drawn in breath, just loud enough for you to hear but no one else, meant to offend you and only you.

The problem is, I’m a very sarcastic person myself, not in a bad way mind, I usually employ the up front, obvious sarcasm, designed to get laughs not patronise. However, I firmly believe that there is a time and a place for it and if you insist on using sarcasm, you have to be able to accept it when it’s used on you or in response to something you’ve said. The same goes for just being an ass hat in general. If you snipe and bitch at people all day then you should be fully prepared to deal with a little attitude when it’s thrown back at you.

Imaginary scenario:

Me: ‘Knock knock’ (I knock on the door and open it) Hi, can I have my dispatch notes please?
…..
Me: Are these the only dispatch notes you have for me?
…..
Me: Hello?
(Admin manager points to a stack on the table behind her – please note that she is supposed to put these items in my in tray)
Me: There aren’t any more in here but I’m still missing some, any idea where they could be?
Admin manager: *Sigh* Ill look (precedes to look through the pile I’ve just looked through) wait there (points to the knock and wait sign on the door)
Me: There really is no need to talk to me like I’m a dog.
Admin manager: Really?
Me: Well that’s a fair comment I suppose, I can be a bitch some of the time (admin manager smiles sickly)
Me: But you know how it is, every pack of dogs has a leader, and if you haven’t noticed you’re a hell of a lot further up the hierarchy of bitches than I am.
…..
Admin manager: Get out!

Sometimes I try really hard with this woman, I’m stupidly polite, I smile lots ( I give myself cramp in my face sometimes!!) but still she gives me this frosty ‘you’ll wake up with a horses head on your pillow attitude’. So I gave a little bit back and I get thrown out.

You really can’t win with some people